What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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