hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
