so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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