rhymes with "ouble enetration"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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