Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize