2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
