hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
