So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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