OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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