we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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