I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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