Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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