only you would photoshop your dick
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
