If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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