I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
