if you like me you must not know who I am
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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