If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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