I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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