I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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