bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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