I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You don't make any sense
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