To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
