thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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