Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
