I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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