Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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