if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
