I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
