I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
