I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just pee around me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
