This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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