if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
