Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
