Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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