I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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