I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
