i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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