i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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