Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
