i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
