I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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