So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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