I think I am morally bankrupt
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have fence marks all over my body
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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