well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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