I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
