dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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