im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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