I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
