You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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