Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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