she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
