Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
