Cold hands, warm shart.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
