ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just invented taco cereal.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
