So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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