the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
