i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Let's get the cat blown out
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
