the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
