Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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